>
> A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a
> recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
> protect them from a possible freeze.
> It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
> of the plants.. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw
> it go under the sofa.
> She let out a very loud scream.
> The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked
> to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the
> sofa.
> He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
> that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He
> thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the
> floor.
> His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him
> to lie still and called an ambulance.
> The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him
> on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
> About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and
> the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
> stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the
> hospital.
> The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
> on a neighbour who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
> with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he
> decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in
> relief.
> But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she
> felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
> rushed back under the sofa.
> The neighbour man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to
> revive her.
The neighbour’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
> store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
> husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him
> out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
> The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbour
> lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that
> the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle
> of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
> By now, the police had arrived.
> Breathe here...
> They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a
> drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the
> women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!
> The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbour and his
> sobbing wife.
> Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of
> the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit
> the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered
> and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
> The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the
> window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out
> and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and
> smashed into the parked police car.
> Meanwhile, neighbours saw the burning drapes and called in the fire
> department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they
> were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead
> wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a
> ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).
> Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was
> repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was
> right with their world.
> A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold
> snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they
> should bring in their plants for the night... And that's when he shot her.
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Topic: (Clean) joke thread. (Read 30630 times)
September 23, 2014, 09:16:05 AM
